A Soul’s
Struggle To Love: The Cross
By: Eric Gajewski
There
is always suffering where sin is found. We
seemingly cannot go five minutes without sinning and His whole Life was given
to us that we might struggle to break free from the bonds of self-love. For the sinless Christ who bore our sin chose
a Way for our hears to be amended to His. In our human nature we like the
majority of the Apostles seek to flee from the face of the Cross and yet it is
through the Cross that we arrive at Oneness with Christ. The Cross is love and to love is to
hang. To be empty, to be desolate, to be
hurting and hungry and to be racked with pain.
The man who does not love His Cross loves himself ultimately. This man is not worthy to be in Christ’s
Presence. He is only worthy to be called
a demon who likewise seeks to avoid the Presence of a Cross. We wear Crosses around our necks these days
but we are not hanging silently in our hearts with Christ. We deceive ourselves and those around us into
thinking we are close to Christ and yet we avoid every type of suffering
imaginable.
Yea,
it is in the suffering that your Love is proved; it is in the suffering that
your soul is healed and molded; it is in the hanging on the Cross that our egos
are smashed that we might be humble like Him.
Humility ascends when the Cross is raised and pride exists when we run
from being nailed to the Cross. We do
not find our true selves without the Cross nor is there any other way but
struggle. We “break free” only when we
realize that His love is free. It is on
the Cross all loss seems to fade for what I thought I needed truly only turned
out to be an obstacle to me truly resting in Selfless Love alone. When a man decides to put all things aside
and focus in on loving his spouse this is when the relationship can grow and it
is no different in the spiritual life.
To be with Christ is enough alone.
No man
can endure the Cross without Love and it is Love which causes us to cling ever
more tightly to the Cross. To have all
that you want is not happiness. Happiness is not having any want but to do what
God wants. This is the difference. We are fed unseen and although living in the
natural we transcend like flying eagle’s in the life supernaturally. The Cross is heaven’s improvement plan. It is meant to change us for the better and
yet we choose poorly on a daily basis like the thief to the left of Christ. We chose to rob God of that which He wants us
to have. He wants us fly freely detached
from all things but Him. Nay, it is just
an eagle and the Son in the skies above.
No earthly wind can drag him down in the contemplation of the Divine.
“Runners and quitters” choose self but true
Lovers choose to stay hanging gasping but still breathing with the Divine
air. The self’s way is easy and leads
the majority to hell but Love’s Way is often harsh and cruel not that Love is
in and of itself but rather because of our sinful nature. It is us who must change not Love and thus in
this process we find it difficult to “change”.
Love is rigid and hard like the Cross which is why we must extend our
hands like Jesus and rest upon it. To
break the hardness of self, Love chose the hardened Cross. We struggle to Love because because we are
not resolute and consistent in detaching our self from earthly things nor are
we resolute in handing over the wheel of our spiritual cars over to Jesus. It is not Love’s fault by thy own. Love’s Face upon the Cross was not pretty but
the Heart that burned for sinners thereof was beyond our comprehension and can
only be seen and felt by those who truly choose the Divine Way. Let us pray to love our own Cross more daily
that we might become the eagles God desires us to be, Amen
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