"And I beheld, and heard the voice of one eagle flying through the midst of heaven,
saying with a loud voice: Woe, woe, woe to the inhabitants of the earth....
[Apocalypse (Revelation) 8:13]

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Culture of Self: Marriage-Minded Young Women are “Depressed & Anxious”

Culture of Self: Marriage-Minded Young Women are “Depressed & Anxious”

Life as a 31-year-old single female is actually not so glamorous. The media–music, television, and movies would make most people believe so. However, most of my friends and I in this situation are depressed and anxious. Have we missed the boat of true love and marriage?

Where does one find it? Tinder? All of the online dating seem more like casual hookup services then people wanting to form a lifetime love. I have lived in two of the most liberal cities in America, San Francisco and New York City. I remember coming right out of University at the age of 21 being very confused about the world as a woman.

Looking back on it now. a lot of my seeking days were really me just wanting to find a home and love with a masculine man. Everyone kept telling me to advance my career and be independent, but I was never truly happy in my soul. I knew something was missing. That this way of life was a lie to my feminine heart.
My years spent in San Francisco consisted of me delving into every spiritual practice I could in order to “find myself”. What I really needed was to find was a good mentor to ground me and teach me to hold standards for the men coming in and out of my life.
I didn’t have much luck dating in the Bay Area because most of the men were very feminized and or they were homosexual. I never met a man that seemed masculine and like a good leader.
I eventually fled that city after I sat in Dolores Park one day after work and realized as a heterosexual single woman, I would be single forever if I stayed there. Back to the east coast, I went.
Ahhh New York City. Manhattan. The playground of the arts, food, music, architecture. Yet, it is also the center for selfishness, materialism, greed, and narcissism. I went there because where else does a single 26-year-old woman go to forge her career?
The day I signed my lease, my body was trembling because I knew I didn’t want to call this place home. It isn’t exactly the cabin in the woods with a masculine man I always envisioned for myself.
Here I was in the middle of a soulless city attempting again to make a life on my own. Subways. Dirty streets. Full of liberal hipsters. SJW. None of this gave my feminine soul any sort of reprise.
I began dating in Manhattan and most of the men were utterly disappointing. Overworked–check. Narcissist-check. Expected sex on the first date-check.
Most of the men I met were more into themselves, would ask how much money I made, or just expected sex right away. I was burned out, so I decided to give up on dating. A few months later after my lease ended I moved out of the city. I realized most of the major cities in America were infiltrated with people who would not be suitable as a marriage partner.
Here I am still single, modest, believe in God and everything pure and true in the world.
Yet, most men have been taught to want women who are attention whores, Instagram obsessed, and would not be good wives or mothers.
What is a woman to do in modern day America to find a good man to build the life that God intended?

What do you think? 

 TradCatKnight Radio: "New Year!...Same Ol' Self?" 



  1. Firstly, God doesn't always intend that a person live a married life. Many are called to be single, celibate and wholly devoted to Him. For the woman above...she should stop looking for a husband and live her life as she is but more for God and more in prayer. God will reveal to her what His intentions are for her life and whatever that may be she must accept it as God's Will. If she is meant to find a good man, God will put him in her path. MY COMMENTS ARE BASED ON HER STORY ALONE...I DID NOT LISTEN TO THE VIDEO (YET)

    1. Yes, people who go around "looking" and yearning for a spouse are doomed to be disappointed. Pray, yes! Live chastely and virtuously, yes! Join wholesome Catholic prayer groups, pro-life outreaches, a Third Order in a decent parish so as to be keep good company and work with wholesome Catholic people. A good priest once told me that people who need internet services to "find" a spouse are just needy neurotics who will bring an "empty bucket" to any marriage. His counsel was to do as I have just stated above and give God's providence a chance, if the person is called to the married life.

      We live in a dishonest and media-saturated culture that over-romanticizes marriage (or any "relationship")and gives people false expectations that set them up for a big disappointment.

      "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all else will be given...." as our Savior deems in His extravagant love....

    2. ...And also realize what used to be very clear to authentic Catholics: that this world is a "vale of tears" and an exile. Every life is hard and full of crosses. And without God, it is unbearable. Our task is to "pray and love" wherever we are (as the Cure of Ars taught). The only real happiness in this life is to learn to walk in peace with God -- which is a lifelong task...and possible in any vocation as long as we pray and abandon ourselves to God's mysterious providence, in season and out of season. Amen.

  2. I agree, Annette. Well said.

  3. My son is a PHD student in Ft Lauderdale. He is looking for a woman like you. Don't give up.

  4. My son is a PHD student in Ft Lauderdale. He is looking for a woman like you. Don't give up.

  5. I found myself in this situation from the other side being a male and not meeting any woman worth taking "home to mom". Worked hard and too much for years, thinking I needed to make x amount of money before any woman would consider me for a husband. Turned to God in my lonliness and grew in my faith, at which point I was considering joining the priesthood. Turned it all over to God and remember asking him "help me find someone or in a month i will sell everything and go to the seminary knowing that that is Your will for me". Three weeks later I met the woman who would be my wife and we are now expecting our fourth child.
    I am definitely not telling you to give God ultimatums. But love him first and he'll always be there with what is best for you whether you know what that is or not.
    Funny thing is, both my wife and I agree, had we met years earlier it would never have worked out. So a small reminder... all in God's time and in His hands.
    Good luck and God bless.

  6. I think church groups is a good way to find someone decent, try it

  7. The best way to find someone is to pray the Rosary, hope, and don't worry. :) and the funny thing is, I'm a male that's in the same situation. I can't seem to find a good girl. I know they're out there. Perhaps finding "the one" in this day in age, is a cross to bear.

    1. Yes, if a person is called to marriage, then praying (Mass and Rosary in particular) will give God's providence its freest abilities to open doors. And keeping company with similarly devout parishioners at Mass, adoration, Novenas, etc. is essential whether or not someone is hoping to find a good spouse. It is the simple path of holiness that we all must pursue and which is the purpose of human existence. So the bottom line is for faithful Catholics to strive for oneness with Jesus (= sanctity) by utilizing all the riches of Catholicism (daily Mass, daily Rosary, Sacramentals, etc.) and somewhere along that blessed path that leads to Heaven, God will cross our paths with those whom His providence ordains.