Signs of the Times: NYT Advises Parents How to Raise ‘Feminist Boys’
“We raise our girls to fight stereotypes and pursue their dreams, but we don’t do the same for our boys,” writes columnist Claire Cain Miller. “They’re discouraged from having interests that are considered feminine. They’re told to be tough at all costs, or else to tamp down their so-called boy energy.”
Miller reached out to “experts” for her piece, including rabid feminist Gloria Steinem, and featured her dastardly quote:
“I’m glad we’ve begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters.”“That’s because women’s roles can’t expand if men’s don’t, too,” Miller explains. “Men are falling behind in school and work because we are not raising boys to succeed in the new, pink economy.”
“Skills like cooperation, empathy and diligence — often considered to be feminine — are increasingly valued in modern-day work and school, and jobs that require these skills are the fastest-growing,” she adds.
So, what’s a boy to do, then? According to Miller, let him cry, let him be himself, teach “no means no,” and never use “girl” as an insult. That should make for a good feminist son, she argues.
Miller complains that children’s toys are too divided across gender lines and that boys should be encouraged to play with dollhouses and to play dress up. (And she doesn’t mean just pretending to be an army man or superhero, either). She also warned parents against enforcing “traditional gender roles."
A follow-up article came days later which reached out to readers and even more exports for their responses. Those lining up with Miller’s narrative were prominently featured.
Sociology professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst Dan Clawson said, “Men need to step up. Feminist fathers are key – and feminism here doesn’t mean supportive statements, it means men doing so-called women’s work, whether that is child care, cooking or cleaning.”
A wife and mother said:
“My husband is a decent person, but he freaked out when I first told him I wasn't taking his last name. I had to teach him how to dust, clean a bathroom and do other household chores. It has taken years to convince him these chores are also his responsibility. I had to point out to my husband that everyone thinks he is an amazing father (he is, but that's not the point) when he shows up for school activities, but no one thinks twice if he doesn't. On the other hand, I am a negligent parent when I don't show. My husband is more than a decent person and a great dad, but he is no feminist.”An English teacher said she made her classes read books on “feminist critical theory” and “a variety of Beyonce lyrics” to combat sexism she witnessed from her male students. Miller, and all the experts, praised this teacher for doing so.
“May others emulate you!” responded Anne-Marie Slaughter, chief executive of the think tank New America.
Only a few criticisms were addressed in the responses and they were all quickly shut down with liberal talking points.
A reader in Dallas simply asked, “Why can’t you write a story titled ‘How to Raise a Son?’” (Instead of "How to Raise a Feminist Son.")
Professor Clawson said, “Because we live in a sexist world, and overcoming that sexism takes conscious effort.”
A female reader from Louisville also disagreed with adding the feminist label to the mix: “Why not just rear ALL children to be considerate of others, friends with all classmates, and for whatever chores they are assigned! We need not label it any name at all!”
Again, Professor Clawson recoiled, “One response to Black Lives Matter is that all lives matter. Sure. But some points need to be stressed, and others are taken for granted. Girls are taught that it’s O.K. to cry, that they need to do chores, and so on. It’s worth stressing that boys need to learn that, too.”
When someone added a bit of snark with their response — “*how to raise a decent person* There. I fixed it for you.” — the great and wise professor opined:
“One approach is to assume that child raising is gender neutral, that no special effort is needed to raise a feminist son. For an isolated family living on the frontier, maybe; for those of us living in a world structured around gender, it won’t work. We need to make extra efforts to countermand what TV, movies, other families, etc., are constantly teaching our children.”To recap: You can’t just raise good, decent human beings in this ultra-liberal culture. There must be identity labels put on everything. Which is strange, because the same people tell us that stereotypes are bad. But now, we have to stereotype so we don’t stereotype. Got it?
TradCatKnight Radio, Suzanne Venker "Feminism & War On Men"
