'Now, seeing me thus determined, my self said to
me: "Grant me, at least, the consolation of not hearing myself thus
spoken of: for, whatever I am, it is necessary that I should exist in
some manner. There is no creature which is not suitably provided for
according to its needs, and I also am one of God's creatures." Then the
spirit rose up and answered: 'Thou art indeed a creature of God, but
thou art not according to God, and if thou wishest to be so thou must be
first despoiled of all thou hast previously acquired, first by original
sin and afterwards by the actual sins which thou hast freely
multiplied, and which are more odious in the sight of God than thou
couldst believe were it told thee. And when I see thee more covered with
secret sins than a cat is with hairs, I know not where thou findest
courage to say that thou art of God. If I were so mad as to feed thee
according to thy inclinations, which are so corrupt and contrary to the
purity which God requires, I should do two evil and perilous things: one
is that I should never satisfy thee, and the other that thou wouldst
every day grow stronger and wound me more and more acutely; and as I am
myself full of evil, thou wouldst attack me secretly and in an
apparently spiritual manner, and then no one but God could overcome
thee. Speak to me no more of thy crafty designs, for I have determined
to disregard thee.'
