Winter Modesty
Catholic Generation
This blog covers articles on the topic relating to modesty.
Note: Not an endorsement
As winter has been steadily approaching, I have been anxiously awaiting a time when ladies typically dress more modestly. However, to my surprise, this has not happened. As you may or may not know, I am a Freshman in college. I have experienced quite a bit of culture shock since coming to my new school. One of those is the amount of immodesty. Here are a few tips on what to avoid in the colder months (really in all the months) to honor your body and to require others to honor you as well.
1. No Leggings
I can not stress this enough. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!!! If you are wearing leggings they should only be worn when it is also proper to wear tights (especially since leggings are really just thicker versions of tights). If you are not sure, play it safe and throw on a pair of skinny jeans (not too tight of course). I know that this can be a tough one for people, but ladies you need to understand that when you wear leggings, you are exposing the entire outline of your body. Keep your body sacred and show that you respect it by dressing appropriately.
2. No Bare Midriffs
This one has been a bit of a shock to me. Come on girls, exposing your bare midriff isn’t modest, let alone it’s not smart in this weather. If you want to wear a cute crop top then layer! I personally love wearing a crop top with a camisole underneath and a pair of high-waisted jeans.
3. No Transparent/Cut-Out/OpenKnit Tops
If you can se your skin underneath your shirt and its not on your arms, shoulders, or just below the collarbone, then you need to go change right now. This probably seems pretty obvious, but you’d be surprised by how many women think this is appropriate attire. Again, if you want to wear it, layer it with a camisole or tee!
4. Common Sense
You’ve probably realized by now that everything I’ve said so far has been conditional. So what exactly does that mean? We can still be fashion forward and modest! (Beware it is mighty difficult sometimes, but God will give you the Grace to do so!) My final tips are to layer, because it keeps you warm and modest, and finally to use your common sense. If you are questioning if something is immodest, it probably is. So either go change or find a cute way to make it a modest outfit.
LENTEN BOOTCAMP DAY 25 – MODESTY
DAY 25 – MARY, VESSEL OF HONOR, PRAY THAT WE RECEIVE THE FRUIT OF MODESTY!
Becoming “Masters of Mental Prayer.” Each day, during Lent, we will practice “Mental Prayer,” as we reflect on, and desire the greatest gifts, so God may show each one of us a “More Excellent Way” (1 Cor. 12:13). Do your best to find a minimum of 15 minutes each day. By the regular practice of Mental Prayer, you will become more attuned to the “Still Small Voice.”
GOD’S WORD
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
HEROES’ WORDS
The dress of the body should not discredit the good of the soul. St. Cyprian
The purpose of clothing is to keep warm in winter and to cover your nakedness, not to serve your vanity. St. Cyril of Jerusalem
MEDITATION
Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness.
Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.
There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.
The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man.
BY THY HOLY AND IMMACULATE CONCEPTION, OH MARY, DELIVER US FROM EVIL. AMEN – OUR LADY OF AMERICA
Traditional Catholic Modesty And Signs
One of the things that bothers us traditional Catholics most, is how little respect women have for Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament when they come to mass, weddings, baptisms and 15era’s. They have purposely planned out, purchased, and put on, the sexiest clothing they like, to come to church in. Not all women come dressed to church this way. Thank you to all of you who come to church respectfully to God, yourself and men.
There has to be great pride and vanity in being so blatantly provocatively dressed. Almost every time I have corrected these people, (with great charity), or, at St. Patrick’s, obliged them to put on a simple white robe, they became unglued, angry, crying and revengeful. They did everything they could to get rid of me from the parish where I had been pastor for 10 years. You can just imagine the gossip and comments made about me on Facebook.
It was just like when St. John the Baptist told Herod that he could not live with his brother’s wife. Herodias held a deep hatred for him and retaliated by having his head cut off. This is a very evil sin that some women have of destroying anyone who might tell them what is sinful, (especially a priest). They will see when they die.
But on Herod’ s birthday, the daughter of Herodias danced before them: and pleased Herod. Whereupon he promised with an oath, to give her whatsoever she would ask of him. But she being instructed before by her mother, said: Give me here in a dish the head of John the Baptist. And the king was struck sad: yet because of his oath, and for them that sat with him at table, he commanded it to be given. And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison. And his head was brought in a dish: and it was given to the damsel, and she brought it to her mother. Matthew 14:6-11There is no way that we can prove to these ladies that what they are doing is sinful. All we can do is quote the Bible when it says that modesty is the fruit of the Holy Spirit and that immodesty is the fruit of the flesh which wars with the Spirit.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, But the fruit of the Spirit is, charity, joy, peace, patience, benignity, goodness, longanimity, Mildness, faith, modesty, continency, chastity. Galatians 5:19, 22-23.
We can also tell them that Our Lady at Fatima said that these clothing fashions offend God greatly.
Instead of agreeing and changing, they get angry and retaliate. Their pride, vanity and need to be noticed, out weighs any moral reasoning. But they will see that God, the Bible and Mary were right and they were wrong, when they die.
Many people, who go to the Latin Mass and wear a veil, will wear immodest clothing at home and in public. God is everywhere. Lust is provoked in men in church as well as in public.
I have never ever heard a woman confess having been tempted lustfully by how a man was dressed. Almost every time I hear confession, some man will tell me of the temptation he is subjected to by the way women dress. Men are completely different creatures from women when it comes to visual things that cause them to lust.
I tell women, if they do not believe me, to ask their husbands, fathers, brothers, if the way women dress does not cause sexual temptations. Women like the attention and men like watching the sexy girls go by. It is a lose lose situation. Both lose their souls. Women do not like watching their boyfriends and husbands checking out other women, yet they will purposely dress to have men check them out.
When I was at St. Patrick’s the men from he Knights of Columbus ordered signs that promoted modesty for those attending church there. As soon as I left, they were disappeared. They wanted everyone to feel welcomed. Please people, offend God.
You can order these signs for your parish from Peter Truong ModestySign@gmail.com or call (562) 400-4027.
We have this sign in English and Spanish on our church doors here at St. Catherine. I am not sure where Fr. Saenz got them from.
We are so blessed to traditional Catholics and to want to please God and Mary, not offend them. We do not have to wait for any ‘SURPRISE’ in hell later on. If you have tight pants, short skirts and pants, throw them away. Otherwise you will be tempted to wear them again. Go to confession and confess the sin of provoking men to lust. Men, confess having enjoyed looking at women in lustful ways.
Reflections On The Questions Of Modesty
A Breakdown of Communication:
Reflections on the Question of Modesty
by Kristine Cranley
I’ll never forget my shock when in college a friend admitted to me that he found it difficult when women wore white shirts to Mass because you could often see one’s bra straps through them. I had never thought to check! I thanked him for the information, and thanked God I wasn’t wearing a white shirt at that moment!
Or when my own brother discretely told me that my smashing new white pants were … well … see through. “When girls wear white pants” he informed me authoritatively, “guys check”.
Or, perhaps most embarrassing of all, the time a man asked me to stop wearing ‘midriff shirts’ to Mass. I was too embarrassed to admit I didn’t know what a midriff shirt was. (I have since googled it and am quite certain that I have never owned a midriff shirt, but my pants that fateful day had been a little loose and fallen below my shirt line, and he had noticed).
Too loose. Too tight. Too low. Too high. Who teaches us about these things anymore?
I thank God for the men who have been courageous enough to share with me the ways my clothing has affected them. Certainly we are all responsible for guarding our eyes from what might cause us to sin. And yet I’m confident that most of you ladies reading this desire to help our brothers in Christ to live purity of heart, just as we are grateful when they help us to do the same. But how are we to learn to love each other well in this regard?
I don’t know about you, but I certainly would have preferred to have been enlightened by another woman beforehand rather than having been ‘called out’ on my midriff infraction. When did women stop handing on this information to one another? In my naïveté I have made a number of unknowing, yet no less embarrassing, errors in my judgment on clothing. I have met countless other women who recount to me similar experiences. Hence, as the Texas heat descends upon us this summer, and the ending of the school year finally allows us the luxury of shopping for our summer wardrobes, I wanted to offer you a few thoughts on modesty of dress, in hopes that some of my embarrassing moments will spare you of your own!
Why Modesty?
First of all, I want to assert that the reason we dress modestly is
NOT because our feminine bodies are bad or ugly or intrinsically
‘occasions of sin’. Simultaneously, it is NOT because all men think
about is sex, or that they are incapable of looking at us without lust.
Rather modesty involves speaking the truth with our bodies. While
women are generally aroused through emotional warmth or physical touch,
men are aroused through visual stimuli. Whether we intend to or not,
revealing too much of our bodies sends a message that we are sexually
available to them. As one young man recently explained to a group of
women here at St. Mary’s, “there are two steps to having sex. Taking
off one’s clothes and actually having sex. If someone is already half
undressed, it’s difficult for one’s mind not to go to the second step”.But meanwhile, the world seems ‘hell-bent’ on destroying in women a proper sense of what is and is not modest. Has not modern day fashion slowly desensitized us to exposing almost every part of our body that can possibly be exposed? One style may show off more and more of the leg, another the chest, the navel, the back, etc., so that slowly we’ve become increasingly comfortable with having any or every part of our bodies revealed to the public. Is it possible to wear any less clothing than a string bikini? Even being clad in solely our undergarments would cover more than many swimsuits do nowadays.
It is true that norms of modesty do shift somewhat from culture to culture. There have been cultures where women have never worn shirts and therefore their being topless was not considered sexually suggestive for the men in their society. But question of importance for us today is what message do our outfits, in our present culture and day, send to the men we are blessed to know and love?
Survey Says
Personally, I have found the responses given on the ‘modesty survey’
extremely enlightening in this regard. This survey anonymously
interviewed men seeking to live chastity on their views regarding
women’s clothing. Their answers were astounding. The following is a
sample of some of the survey questions, followed by the men’s responses
(emphasis original):- Girls can dress attractively without being immodest. 98% agree/str. agree
- Age 20 – I actually had a T.A. in one of my classes who was a beautiful woman who dressed modestly, and I had trouble paying attention to anyone but her! Her clothing never caused me to stumble and never once did I have a physical reaction to her. Instead, my heart warmed (maybe even fluttered a few times hehe) and it just made me smile. There’s also a young woman from my home town who I’ve known for some time who has MASTERED this art. She is just gorgeous….wait, I’m rambling…. sorry. But see what I mean? The women who dress modestly AND attractively leave a much longer lasting impression on men.
- Age 20 – There is a huge difference between being beautiful and being hot. Beauty is being attractive for who the girl is as a person. Hot is being attractive as nothing more than sex appeal.
- Showing any cleavage is immodest. – 70% agree/str. agree
- Age 40-49 – I find it totally distracting. It’s EVERYTHING I can do to keep my eyes on her eyes when cleavage is showing.
- Age 22 – Why? Why must you? What is your reasoning for doing it? You can be fashionable with out doing it, so why?
- Age 20 – This is the biggest thing which causes me to fall.
- Immodest clothing is not a problem (for you) when a girl in your own family wears it. – 21% agree/str. agree
- Age 24 – Maybe I am alone in this, but my “Hey! Female skin!” radar doesn’t stop to check DNA first
- Age 16 – I radically disagree. It does not matter if the girl is my sister or not, it is still an assault on godly beauty, and my chastity. You see, what lust (and the whole industry that is producing all the magazines you see at the grocery store and worse) does, is it takes away the personhood of the object of lust. So then, immodesty in a mind surrendered to evil turns the woman into a thing — it removes personality, true beauty, being made in God’s image, and leaves only a thing that satisfies evil desires. Therefore, because of how destructive lust is it does matter that my sister and my best friend dress modestly.
- Bending over so that cleavage is visible down the front of the shirt or dress is a stumbling block. 90% agree/str. agree
- Age 16 – Um… Yes. That image usually sticks in my head for weeks.
- Age 21 – I cannot agree stronger. This is a big one for me. It would appear some shirt are MADE to do this. I appreciate it when girls hold there hand to their chest as they bend over. It demonstrates not only a respect for themselves, but also to me.
- Age 16 – STRONGLY AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAH! THIS IS SOOOOOO DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH!!!!
- General comments to women
- Age 24 – Sisters in Christ, you really have no concept of the struggles that guys face on a daily basis. Please, please, please take a higher standard in the ways you dress. True, we men are responsible for our thoughts and actions before the Lord, but it is such a blessing when we know that we can spend time with our sisters in Christ, enjoying their fellowship without having to constantly be on guard against ungodly thoughts brought about by the inappropriate ways they sometimes dress. In 1 Corinthians 12 the apostle Paul presents believers as the members of one body – we have to work together. Every Christian has a special role to play in the body of Christ. That goal is to bring glory to the Savior through an obedient, unified body of believers – please don’t hurt that unity by dressing in ways that may tempt your brothers in Christ to stumble.
- Age 26 – In high school, the place of greatest temptation toward lust was my church. Girls wore things to church that they thought were fashionable and dressy, but they would not have passed the dress code at my public high school. Church should NEVER be a guy’s greatest source of temptation, in any way. Please, be especially careful when picking out your dress clothes for church, and make sure they are modest when sitting and kneeling (if you kneel in church), not just standing in front of the mirror.
Listening to men about their concerns and struggles has made me more aware of things that wouldn’t naturally occur to me. For instance, remembering to hold my hand on an otherwise modest wide neck shirt when I bow to receive the Eucharist. Making sure I check both the front and the back of my outfits in the mirror, as well as skirt length when I’m sitting. Checking to see if my sleeveless shirts have arm holes that allow one to see in my shirt when I move my arms. Or being aware of keeping my legs crossed or closed when wearing a skirt and sitting across from others.
Does Modesty Compromise Beauty?
So how do we know?
Modesty questions aren’t always black and white. How much is too
short, too tight, too low, too revealing? What about bathing suits?
Which ones and under what circumstances are considered modest? I won’t
attempt to answer this definitively. Rather, I believe these questions
are best answered in dialogue with our brothers in Christ.However I will leave you with one adage which you might want to carry with you as you hit the outlet malls this first week of summer: dress in a way that allows them notice the beauty of your face.
And for all you ladies who are going home for the summer, we are certainly going to miss those beautiful, gentle, kind, vibrant faces of yours around here! And equally yours beloved brothers in the Lord! You are in our heartfelt prayers! We miss you already.
RELATED POSTS:
**Top 10 Reasons Men Should Practice Custody of the Eyes
**Top 10 Reasons Women Should Dress Modestly
**Facebook + Bathing Suits = Bad Idea
How to Stay Warm and Modest in Winter
by Rita Davidson
With fall leaves turning red and yellow and temperatures falling lower and lower Mary Beth (HT Mary Beth!) J Reminded me that this question comes up every year.
I thought it about time to write a post about this question, so everyone could benefit from this basic advice.
For those that wear skirts and dresses all the
time (pretty much) we want to stay cool in summer, and warm in winter
just like anyone else. This post will deal with keeping warm in winter.
Our home here is about 120+ years old, and has
plenty of drafts. Our winter here, easily gets down to -30C or -22F on
average with up to 4 feet of snow drifts, so cold and wet, is something
I’ve dealt with often.
Choosing to be modest is a challenge at the
best of times. It is not for the faint of heart, since some challenges
could weaken the best of commitments. Cold
is one of those things that can really scare someone off. After all, we
all know what it’s like to feel cold, and to get a chill that won’t
wear off. It’s not healthy, nor do we want to get sick when we have our
families to take care of.
In really cold winter, and in old houses that
many of us have, we have more drafts and so need to keep warm so
chilling is not a problem.
Wearing skirts may give us a few challenges to keep warm in winter but it is not impossible.
The choices are varied and thankfully so, since everyone has different needs.
Cold Weather Tips:
1. Try Wear Heavier Skirts: To
help keep skirts from flying up in winter winds. Heavier fabrics are
good at this time of year. Denims, and cordoroys, twills, and such.
Heavier fabrics also help to keep the winds away from our bodies, acting
like a windbreaker, instead of coming right through our clothing and
skirts.
2. Wear a Winter Slip:
If you want to extend the life of your summer skirts but help them be
warmer, wearing a winter slip from flannel will extend the life of your
summer skirts. Winter slips should be made of soft flannel or for really
cold days, wool. A thin, but soft real wool is extremely good at
keeping the heat in. I have often found used wool jersey skirts and was
able to make them a wool slip in the winter for a fraction of the cost.
Other options are to get a wool jersey fabric and make a easy slip with
elastic waist. You won’t be able to wear these everyday they are so
warm. For those allergic to wool, another option would be a silk slip. I
have heard that silk is very warm and not as picky as wool can be.
Having ruffles around the bottom of your slips can help keep the cold
from rising up your skirt too.
3. For feet: Keeping your feet warm will go a long way to staying warm. We often don’t’ notice our feet getting cold until it’s too late. I
would suggest wool slippers. If not wool slippers, even one with pile
that can be washed, but will hold in the heat on cold floors. Long
cotton socks or stockings should be worn in them. Our floors are cold so
as long as I’ve got my feet in long socks and my shoes I do okay.
Slippers would be warmer for someone that needs that extra warmth that
shoes do not give. If you can’t find decent wool slippers, then an extra
heavy paid of men’s wool work socks can be worn and you will never
again have cold feet!
3. Layers: If
really cold, layers are what keep in the heat. Remember it is not so
much the heat that keeps us warm, as it is our own body heat that we can
minimize loosing. So, use layers of various fabrics to keep the heat
in. Start with tights, or leggings, then wool slip, then skirt, is the
basic to keep warm in winter.
4. Layers on the body;
Don’t forget your whole body needs those layers. Often we will get
chilled because our necks are bare and drafts tend to chill us from
there. So keep your neck covered, whether a turtleneck or a colorful
scarf, you’ll be surprised at how much warmer you feel all over with
just your neck covered.
5. Wear Thick Tights: Another
option is to wear thick tights. The kind we were used to wearing when
we were younger. This is not my first choice, since they are often only
sized small. And I did not find these were warmer then using wool slips
as above. But for those looking
for this option, the cabled knit tights can often be found at Walmart
and Target in the U.S. when colder weather hits.
Online here are a few shops that you can look for cable knit tights:
I get all my knee socks from this place:
Other sources for leg warmers are:
With winter, comes dryness and our old friend, Static:
As winter continues and your many layers become
a habit, you’ll notice static trying to build up. Wearing skirts that
are hugging your legs tightly is not only unsightly, it is a real issue
if it starts riding up on you!
1. Wearing natural materials of wool, cotton can help keep down the static.
2. Wearing a nylon slip between thick leggings and your skirt can help keep them from sticking.
3. Rinsing clothes in vinegar has been said to minimize static in winter. Using dryer sheets can also help.
Keep in mind that moving around, can help us
keep warm and circulate our blood to keep us from getting chilled. Get
up and move around at least once per hour if needed.
Getting enough rest will also help us to stay warmer, since when we are well rested, our bodies run better.
Special needs, such as arthritis, or other health issues like low iron might need special precautions beyond this list.
If serious chilling is an issue:
1. 1. keeping a electric pad nearby, to put on your legs when sitting.2. 2. use a hot water bottle at your feet, will do wonders to keep us warm when not moving around much.3. 3. A regular blanket (especially of wool) will do wonders on your legs when there is a draft.
All in all, I hope you’ll find some ways to
dress warm so you do not abandon your modest dressing. Remember that
wearing pants can make us just a chilly, when it is really cold out.
Taking simple steps to ensure you stay warm, will help you to see that
modesty is possible!
Three Ways to Become a Better Woman
It has, amongst other things, convinced you that the male role is the norm for everyone, and that it is something you should aspire to. It has put the idea into your head that you should always put education and career before family, and that ‘sexual liberation’, in the sense of imitating the worst aspects of male sexuality and the pursuit of multiple partners, is something that strengthens you — rather than something that damages you, as massive empirical evidence suggests it does. You are also the primary targets of the propaganda which abuses and takes advantage of emotions (empathy in particular), and promotes ‘multiculturalism’, ‘White guilt’, and ‘equality’, which has led to the sad fact that today, Western women more generally tend to be far more Leftist than the men in those countries. Women constitute an integral component in the maintaining of the politically correct order, since they assume the role of the thought police in their daily lives much more often than men do, and do their best to hinder and punish people in their surroundings who have dared to deviate from the politically correct, Cultural Marxist norm.
If you are reading this you have probably seen through the politically correct factory of lies, and perhaps you are also aware of the facts mentioned above. Nonetheless, to make your efforts for normalising Europe as effective as possible, follow this simple advice:
1) Get your priorities straight. In your autumn years, having a successful career behind you will be nothing compared to having a large family, with grandchildren and everything else that comes with it. This is also the best and most natural method for ensuring your retirement benefits — a few decades from now, your children and grandchildren will be far more inclined to take care of you than the rapidly crumbling European welfare states will. Besides, passing your genes on is a far worthier goal in life than slaving for some multinational corporation, which will forget all about you the second you retire. Furthermore, the plummeting birth rates of Europe must be reversed.
2) Recognise the value of your personal honour. Forget everything contemporary society and the Left tried to make you believe in relation to the ‘sexual revolution’. If you are lucky, you had good parents who raised you well and taught you the fundamental truths, such as the fact that your long-term interests are not served by having sexual relations with a man the first time you meet. Rather, restraint on the part of women facilitates the process of ‘falling in love’, and creates better conditions for lasting, sound relationships. Even if men try to get you into bed the first time you meet, you should view this as a test, a test which you will fail miserably if you succumb. Most men will have a lot more respect for you if you refuse, and it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever what they try to tell you or themselves about the matter.
3) Nurture your femininity. Realise that your feminine qualities are your greatest assets. Nurture and develop them. They are also your main weapon in the rather brutal competition which constitutes natural selection, and it is your primary strength in your interactions with men. Do not be fooled into believing that adopting male behavioural patterns are to your advantage. The sooner in life you realise this, the more successful and happy you will be. Developing intellectually and acquiring skills are things you can always do, but imitating male patterns of behaviour and competing with men is hard enough for men. You have nothing to gain by doing so.
Always strive to improve yourself within the framework of your naturally given gender role, and thus your natural role in society and the community. You may live in a depraved, undignified age, and a certain degree of adaptation may be necessary, but it is you who are reading this and people like you who will form the vanguard in the reformation of European society, and the restoration of our ancient, traditional ideals. These ideals once built the great civilisation of Europe, and they will rebuild it when this age of darkness ends.
(The above text is an excerpt from chapter 5: “Brief Advice on Gender Roles”, in my latest book, The Real Right Returns.