The More We Love, The More We Are Crucified
Writing and Poem By: Eric Gajewski
From the work, "Fortress of the Soul"
Yes, this is the great mystery we live by. On the surface level it would seem to be, that, the more we love God, the “easier” life will get. Fundamentally speaking this is true because the more we are detached from self love the less we care about our own will. Thus the more I rest in His Sacred Heart which houses the Divine Will the more free I am. Thus, life becomes easier on that level(if you will). However, this does not seem to be the case for the beginner of the interior way. It seems at first that the more I would approach Jesus the “harsher” life would get. Why does it seem harsh? Because the self is still active and alive. This is only naturally let me provide you with an example.
Closer to the Son. Suppose I say unto you that today you and I will journey to the sun itself. As we approach the sun it is only logical to see how we will suffer more form the intense light and heat. It is the same with God Who is an Unapproachable Light and All Consuming Fire. He is brighter than 10,000 suns put together and thus in order for us to move clear we must heroically detach from all things. We must have truly no will at all. We must be willingly to appear as fools (as the early apostles) before the world. Nay, it is true, I only suffered because of some want on my end. When two wills are united, you are perfectly at rest and are perfectly happy no matter what you are going through. There were only a FEW brave at the foot of the Cross to demonstrate just how many Saints there are in the world in relation to those who flee from the Cross. The more we love, the more we approach the Crucified Christ the more ourselves will become crucified.
What or whom do you love. If you have not already start to journal today. Start writing and after a few weeks you will begin to see a pattern. What do you love self or God? Is it God has not done this or that? Or is it full of thanksgiving for no matter what has transpired. The things we love tell us who we are. And if we love things more than Christ than are we truly ready to be WHOLLY crucified in so that Jesus can fully operate in us? I am only truly alive when He is alive in me. During this Lent may we all continue to examine and grow based upon our own faults and weaknesses. In silence and solitude will this be accomplished.
Suffering, a good sign? Yes. If we are in a state of grace the process of purification is harsh to the soul still filled with the bitter gall of self-love. That which I have collected erroneously must be laid to the side. Nature must be crushed and only the Cross can accomplish the ultimate victory over self. Those who are closest to Jesus suffer the most. God trusts these souls more than you. You should not have pity on these souls who so courageously are willing to embrace any and all sufferings for Our Lord. Rather, you ought reflect upon your own failure to completely denial the self in so that you could arrive on that bed of suffering. Do not have pity on them but rather examine yourself to see just how far away your heart is from God.
There are some who want to see who don’t believe. Do not be like those around Jesus who approach the Cross in curiosity. They approach not because they believe but because they are curious as to see why someone would go through all of the suffering. Our Religion is not a spectator sport. Faith and works must be present. Only the heroic few will ever arrive at the spiritual marriage in this life. They constantly choose Faith over fear at every turn. They have shunned the world from their sight. They do vast penances which are beyond our grasp. They suffer and they are happy, the suffer more and do not even realize it because THEY ARE IN LOVE.
Love grows. I recently watch some silly movie wherein these two people began to like each other. At first they did not but the more they were around each other they began to see a beauty in each other. The backdrop to this story was that the Apocalypse was occurring. It was the End of the World. As the movie progressed they realized that it just didn’t matter what they were going through only that they ought remain in each other’s presence. They didn’t even realize what was going on in the outside world. This is how we ought be with Jesus and then some. The Cross remakes and renews yet some of you are so content with how you are now that you cannot possibly conceive suffering anything at all. Happiness is not doing our will but rather executing His Will. In nature the more we pursue the more we become weighed down. However, through grace, we must labor on in this inward journey in the Fortress of the Soul to find Him. He is our prize alone. Sadly, people these days, are not content with this idea. As a society we haven’t progressed at all. We have become a utopian society of self who hides behind trying to help others when in fact the leaders of this new world order are only self serving and trying to control and manipulate the masses. Have no fear, the closer your heart gets with God’s the more you will suffer!
Press play and listen as you read the poem...
"Draw Me In O' Love"
O’ press heavy upon me,
This Tree made of setim wood which frees,
For the closer my steps came unto Thee,
The harsher life seemingly got to be
But as I walked closer thy Face became clearer
And all things faded away
For it is You Who makes all things New,
It is You Who art my everlasting Day
No matter what night nor storm
Just as long as our eyes stay locked
For that which first seemingly didst crush
Was only sent in Love and You watched as I grew
Heavenly, was the Cross
As I heard all the Saints singing in harmony
Draw me in O’ Love
An eagle soars with the wings of Faith and Hope
Who wouldst keep his eyes open in charity
You are not so harsh my friend
It is not as I once thought
For the Cross opens the inner eyes of a man so that he can see
And in thy Sacred Heart
I rest perfectly without care or worry
It is here I sit uponst thy scale
Which balance my heart in Justice and Mercy
For what you break down
Will be rebuilt
For in thy sight, thy Cross is beautiful